Step Dog

I planned to do a review of our current campground after we changed locales but we are staying put another week due to training classes for our new jobs.  Logistically, it made more sense to stay at Campground Numero Uno because I like to sleep.  Ideally, I wanted to move for pretty scenery but I love sleep more than amber waves of grain.  So, you just have to wait for my opinion.  I know you’re excited.

Anyway, our camper is dry from the previous fiasco and that’s all I’m going to say about that.  My present day pain involves a certain dog.


This is Optimus Blank Williams.  He doesn’t even have our last name because he is not our dog!  He belongs to my darling daughter, Kennadee.  She lives in Florida and this crazy, corgi mutt bit her roommate so instead of returning or rehoming, I took him because I have the dumbest soft spot for dogs which is my mother’s fault.  We can go into that topic another day with a therapist.

Optimus is a runner.  One Christmas, when he was just visiting, he got out of our house on Sunset and took off.  Vince trying to solve everyone’s problems, per usual, ran out in the snow, barefoot and topless chasing this dang dog.  Pretty hilarious, except Parker jumped in a car, drove down the street, opened the door and Optimus jumped in.  He won’t come back when you call him but he will jump in a car.  Vince walked home practically naked to cool off.

Optimus has got out of the camper twice, so far.  The first time, a fellow camper called his name and Optimus went right to him.  WTF!  Weird!  Optimus does not come when you call his name.  He does not care.  When we went on our official walk later that evening, we noticed this dude has Florida plates and a St. Augustine sticker in his window.  Optimus knew his people and wanted to hitch a ride home!  We are about to ask him if he wants a dog because this dog must not love us.  The second time he escaped, we remembered his weakness.  Vince jumped in the truck and he was recovered quickly.  So frustrating to remember to open our front door slowly because the cat or the corgi might make a great escape. Ain’t nobody got time to chase either one of them.

I am also going to blame Optimus for my next nightmare because he is fully potty trained.  He never has accidents BUT someone pissed in our bed.  He is not kenneled and I don’t think the 5 pound yorkie produced what I found when I went to bed.  I had stayed up way past my bedtime so I was beyond pissed (literally) to sit in the campground laundromat at midnight because we don’t have extra sheets/comforters.  Maybe we should get an extra set but I have no idea where to store them.  Vince would suggest the shoe drawer but that is only because his shoes are not allowed in this space.  #hater


Our couch has a nifty storage drawer.  I threw my work boots on top to cover all the pumps I kept.  Ignore me.  So, instead of being practical, I visited this lovely facility in the middle of the night.


Sneak peak of my review – I do feel safe here.  The neighbors and campground host are very nice. I kind of like doing 8 loads of laundry at once.  I turn Sling on my phone to watch all the reality TV.  Vince brings me beer which follows me into the shower.


I could take a shower in my camper but we will save that reason for another blog.  Shit is getting real.


Vince talking on the phone about me with one of his friends.  I may be in the “office” but I can hear and see you!  There is no other room to storm in and slam the door.  I guess I could slam the front door but Optimus might escape and it’s raining.  Honeymoon Phase Over.

2 thoughts on “Step Dog

  1. Pingback: This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things – PASSENGERSRV

  2. Pingback: Mamba Mary – PASSENGERSRV

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